Its been awhile since I had a whole day start well and end well.
I think what made it that way was how packed full of things it was.
7:30- wake up
8:20- eat bagel and banana at DX
8:50- walk to class
9:05- 9:55 AM Intro to Communication Theory
10:10- 11:00 AM Communication Skills
11:15- 12:00 eat lunch and do Astronomy Homework
12:20- 1:10 Intro to Cinema
1:25- 2:15 Astronomy
2:15- 3:15 Math Studying
3:30- 5:30 Movie Screening for Cinema (Dracula)
5:30- 7:00 Chorus
7:00-8:00 Dinner with Brad and friends
8:00- 9:15 My first Bible Study
9:30 Deets Run
10:00- 10:30 Hall Meeting
10:30- finally relaxing
That was my full day. Busy. Busy is what I need these days.
I also went to my first Bible Study tonight. I literally bumped into an old high school friend, Brad, after my chorus rehearsal let out. He then invited me to his Bible study. I decided to go. I thought "why not?" It might take my mind off of things. So I went to Owens for dinner with him and then I went with them to the Bible study. They were really nice and I liked the opportunity to meet new people. I have always wanted to try a Bible Study out, not sure how I'm going to like it honestly, but I felt like tonight seeing Brad and his invite was a sign. I am really down lately. I'm going through one of the hardest times of my life and I think that this is God's way of holding out a hand and saying "its okay, here is something that will help you." I walked home tonight from the study happy for the first time since the break-up. I mean genuine happiness. I almost cried tears of joy. Just feeling the cool air, the rain on my cheeks, I felt so happy. I smiled and whispered "I love you" to the night sky, or rather to God. I have always had faith that there is a God or higher power, but I have struggled with religion. It makes me squirm a bit. I am torn, because I grew up with church, and in a way it is a true comfort to me. I guess I'm just always afraid of saying I know something written in the Bible to be absolutely true when there are other religions out there and other texts that are aiming for the same thing. I love God. I know He exists. I have felt his presence and lived guided by his signs. I feel very blessed, but I have these feelings of unrest and confusion when it comes to religion. I feel like I have to start somewhere and that a Bible study will at least give me a better knowledge of christianity. Then I can start leaning about other texts as well, just for knowledge. All I know is, the Bible study and the people there comforted my broken heart, and I felt happy walking home in the dark cool rain. That is a major breakthrough and I can't ignore the sign that I need this in my life right now.
God truly is amazing. Love is amazing.
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